Interesting Things Nikki And I Talk About Late At Night:

Woody: "Do you think Tony Stark put a urine capture device in the Iron Man suit so he can pee in flight?"

Nikki: "Probably."

Woody: "...What if he has to shit?"

Nikki: "He can't shit in flight."

Woody: "Sometimes he's in that suit for over 24 hours! It's either take it off or shit in the suit."

Nikki: "Well maybe he's like a bear and eats a lot of moss to plug up his ass."

Woody: "That could be why he was drinking that green stuff in the movie. High fiber diet and all."

Woody: "Why would Bella and Edward think it's a good idea to have a fucking baby?"

Nikki: "Why would they think it's a good idea to be fucking?"

Woody: "I mean, vampire baby, shit's dangerous. If I were her, I woulda been like: 'Whoa, why didn;t you tell me this child would try to eat my uterus.' And then it would've been whisk time."

Nikki: "Like Emeril? *mimes whisking motion* KICK IT UP A NOTCH."

(Talking about the sex scene between Dan and Laurie)

Nikki: "At first he's like: SEX. YEEEAAAAAAHHHH! But then he has E.D. so he's like: NOOOOOO!"

A Little Slice Of The College Life

As I begin classes tomorrow, I figure now is a good time to reflect on what the past few days of living in a dorm room has taught me about college life:

-Never go to dinner at 6:00 pm.

-Never try to shower at 7:00pm.

-When swearing loudly over video games/WoW, make sure no one is standing out in the hall that can hear you, lest you offend them.

-Always know where the closest ATM, comic book store, and drug store are.

-All the men on our floor are chill, efficient, and decent human beings in general. The women are bitches.

-Only leave your door open if you want people running in at 10:30 at night wanting to play Rock Band. No matter how hot it is.

-There is no such thing as too many posters.

-Bring plenty of munchies.

-Telling the story where I say "I feel like every liquid currently in my body is piss" is not a good way to make new friends.

-Don't get on your RA's bad side.

-And finally: disregard bitches, acquire currency.