Everyone's sort of doing these "the end is coming, let's all reflect on the good times" blogs, and if there's anyone I'm going to conform to, I'm glad it's with the Circle.
Everyone has a block in their life called high school, and ours is nearly at an end. Two months, and that part of our life is over forever and we get to move on somewhere new. And I can't make up my mind about how I feel (truth be told though, that's how I've felt for most of my life; never knowing the difference between how I feel and how I'm supposed to feel). Part of me is chomping at the bit to get out of here, not to anyplace in particular, just to be somewhere different, somewhere new. And the other half can only think about how I'm going to miss seeing all of you everyday. The internet can only do so much y'know.
So, I'm stuck in the rut of leaving and staying, and I've only got two months to sort all this shit out.
But, anyway, back to happier times. Let's do this chronologically, shall we? Perfectly logical for a Circle member, so I suppose it's fitting.
Freshman Year: Shit, I hated QHHS. I didn't like the friends I had because they were mostly comprised of people I didn't like and didn't hang out with in middle school, but it was them or alone, and someone is better than no one. About halfway through the year Aged LeBeau (Pre-IB Geometry: Sucked balls) rearranged the seats so that I was sitting next to Michelle Mercer. I didn't know her, didn't much care to get to know her, but we had to share a book so some communication was required between us. And I'll be damned if three weeks later I wasn't hanging out with her, Sara Daniel and Nikki Hooper, blowing off homework and gettin' into trouble.
The Circle Mark 1: Woody, Sara, Paige, Nikki, Chelle, Autumn, Jew, Smity
Important Notes: Paige marked for death, Sara has long hair, I have long hair, hanging out on the grass, The Penny.
Sophomore Year: Things were looking pretty good. Last year I pulled all A's, made some great new friends, and my parents were happy. And then Lenaway happened. To be honest, I don't remember too much of what happened that year beyond my father being constantly hovering over my every grade and the constant disappointment that was second period. I know that sounds very emo and exaggerated, but that class seriously sucked. I mean, it made the whole year bad. I'm sure there were great Circle moments of awesome and epic win, but for the life of me I can't think of any.
The Circle Mark II: Woody, Sara, Paige, Nikki, Chelle, Jew, Autumn, Smity, Kraut, Trent, Brendan, Prances, Grace
Important Notes: Kraut moves, Paige is still going to die, Sara cuts hair, I keep mine, still hanging out on the grass but move indoors when it becomes too cold (beginning of possible migration theory), The Hilarious Incident of the Gnome in the Nighttime.
Junior Year: Ah, the year of change. Coming into eleventh grade, every illusion I had about my invincibility to a grade below a B completely and utterly vanished. And so did all of my work ethic. I think all of us went through some pretty radical changes, physically or mentally, sometimes both, at least in my case. I lost the hair, and according to most of the Circle a lot of my annoying douchebag traits. I'm still a douchebag, just a slightly more lovable one. Also, I become addicted to coffee and begin driving.
The Circle Mark III: Woody, Sara, Paige, Nikki, Jew, Autumn, Chelle, Prances, Brendan, Grace
Important Notes: I still will be the end of Paige (eventually), Sara cuts hair (shorter), I finally get rid of mine, now spending most lunches in DeGroff's room, mornings in LeBeau the Younger's.
Senior Year: The year of: "I should...oh, fuck it." I can understand why Parks calls out class the Year of Apathy. Due to California budget constraints and national economic problems, our entire class knew that getting into the colleges we wanted to go to was very slim from the start. At least that's what I'm blaming my apathy on. That and a combination of Reti's class making me averse to any conversations that involve politics, morality, or philosophy (things I actually used to enjoy pursuing in my own time). Between Mock Trial, IB, and the stress of getting into a good college, I feel tired. And sick. And sort of angry. But I can't afford to be any of those things because senior year is supposed to be one of the best years of my entire life and I can't afford to waste it on being pissed off. But, between the epic Circle parties, coffee in the mornings, and Nikki's always amazing food, I've done it.
We've done it.
The Circle Mark IV: Woody, Nikki, Sara, Paige, Chelle, Autumn, Jew, Webster, Mariah, Brendan, Jeff, Prances, Dakota, Caitlin, Grace
Shit, nearly four years, and even though we've had our bumps and our spinouts and our bitchy little arguments, we're still friends, and that's a lot more than most people can say.
And there will be parts of my high school career that I'll look back on and wince, maybe mutter a "probably not the smartest idea", but as a whole I won't look back and remember the teachers most, or the tests, or the field trips or the fights or prom...it'll be you guys. Four years is a hell of a long time to know someone for people our age, to see them and talk with them nearly everyday. I doubt I'll ever understand all of you, get what makes you tick, but that's all right because where's the fun in talking with someone when you know them down to their last inch?
So, yes, all good things must come to an end, and forgive me for being blunt but I do fear that college will be the end of The Circle. We can keep in contact over the internet and phone, but you lose something when you don't see someone everyday.
It had to end eventually, but I'll tell you one thing, I wouldn't've traded you guys for the world.
